Kennels

I am in the shelter
and that is all it is, built for survival
sturdy and foreboding;
No wonder they don’t want to come in
I’m left with no visitors, they fear
what nightmares lay inside…
That shriek and howl in the darkest of nights
New moon leaves the sky empty
storm clouds that never let the stars shimmer
their way through.

I am hidden, discarded by those before,
I have to lock the memory of it
behind a tight airlock door.
Everything reminds me of what lies inside,
the monsters they are, the worst one they made.
I am hidden, a discarded mistake.

They don’t remember any of the good things,
the shunned qualities I intend to keep
while I choose to count my blessings
before I go to sleep
Remind myself that they must be right
and that they’re better than me.
Sheep circling, better than demons, at least,
but they turn into clouds that thunder through my dreams.

Intent on blinding themselves to the utter mess they made,
they don’t see the prayers, or
the moment I realised God had given up
looking through locked windows hands clasped in desperation
to keep on believing, couldn’t hold out hope.
Rescued from the darkness and wondering why
Best not to speculate
let the sleeping dog lie, not often he gets the rest.

Another sea of stars comes into full view
count and count, the wish will never…
it seems I’m out of luck.

His forgiveness never came
and neither did hers.
Watching through the misty window,
battering falling rain,
The bad dog
I am
and in the shelter I remain.